Or maybe he would tell me to go fuck myself and to pass him another shot of absinthe. Yes, probably that.
That would be an honour, too.
The Olive Trees Vincent Van Gogh, 1889
In a land far, far away (much farther than you’ve ever dreamt) there was a pond. It wasn’t a large pond, in fact, it was rather ordinary. In this pond lived three little frogs. They were brothers. The oldest of the three little frogs, Stanwick, never felt like he quite fit in. Sure, he could swim fast and jump high, but he just felt very un-pretty and insignificant. One day he decided that to be pretty meant he needed gorgeous hair. After all, the cats who came daily to drink from the pond all had beautiful hair. Some seemed to have hair spun from pure gold, and others appeared to be covered in soft black silk. Stanwick resolved to get himself a wig. One day when one of the cats came for a drink, Stanwick asked him if it could procure him a wig as fine as the cat’s fur. The cat agreed, and the next day came back with the finest wig in all the land. It was far too big for Stanwick, but he felt beautiful nonetheless. When Stanwick asked the cat how he could repay him, the cat said he would like to eat him for supper.
And that’s how Stanwick died.